Dear Abby: Wife withholds affection, hubby eyes the exit

Dear Abby I have been married for years It was a normal relationship and I was very happy However over the last years my wife has changed There is ZERO affection no hugging holding hands and nothing sexual We are like roommates She blames it on having been molested when she was a child Our level of intimacy was normal for years I have suggested counseling but she refuses Bottom line Should I stay or should I go I am years old and this is my second marriage I don t want to start over Starved in Indiana Dear Starved Ask your wife if she ever received counseling after she was molested If she did she requirements more However if she did not then it s time to explain to her that for the last years she has starved you of affection and human contact and you do not intend to live the rest of your life this way Then offer her a choice counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce You may not want to start over but you may have to Dear Abby I brought my dad with dementia into my home My husband has heart issues We are all at each other s throats all the time My siblings promised they would help take care of our dad but they haven t helped much at all Every once in a while they may take him for a couple hours but then he s right back Don t get me wrong I love my dad But we really could use more help though I feel guilty asking for it Am I supposed to feel this way I mean they are his children too Obligated in Kentucky Dear Obligated I hope you realize you may have brought this situation on yourself and it s up to you to do something about it You noted you feel guilty asking your siblings for more help taking care of your father Lose that guilty feeling They ARE his children too but they aren t mind readers Tell them what you need and if it is more time to yourself and your sick husband don t be bashful about saying so Dear Abby My husband bought me a beautiful diamond ring for our th anniversary People often ask how much it cost and why we would spend that I know I don t have to explain myself and I try to be polite We both work are debt-free and don t bother anyone What is the proper way to respond to questions like this Diamond Gal in Massachusetts Dear Diamond Gal You are correct You are not obligated to reveal personal financial information so stop doing it There s no end to the personal questions people ask these days If someone inquires about how much your ring cost or why you would spend that amount of money purely respond You know that s a very personal question and I m really not settled with it Then change the subject Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA