Dear Abby: It’s time to air family’s dirty laundry

Dear Abby My late husband and I were married years when we absolutely went to marriage counseling I detected out then that he had slept with my sister early in our marriage I had suspected he d also had an affair with his uncle s wife They were very close in age This too was substantiated in counseling My sister was in recent weeks home because of our mom s medical and it was a struggle to be in the same hospital room with her As far as the other gal there are a limited occasional family get-togethers which I avoid because of her I need help How do I deal with this after all these years Not Over It Yet Dear Not Over It Take back your life You have nothing to be embarrassed about Tell your sister and the other woman that you know they slept with your husband And at the next family get-together tell the rest of your relatives why you avoided all those previous get-togethers so they don t think they were the reason Dear Abby There s a woman at work I am drawn to but I m tired of getting turned down She s very talkative with me and asks me lots of questions but when I have come on to her I am rebuffed She says she has a boyfriend I m not sure why she s so friendly with me but I feel I m getting mixed messages In our job we occasionally have to work side by side and when that happens I m conflicted about whether to open up or shut down Maybe I should ask if she still has a boyfriend and if she does communicate about the task at hand The idle chatting is becoming uncomfortable because I want something more What s the best lesson of action Next to Her in New Jersey Dear Next to Her Asking her again if she still has a boyfriend would not be out of line However if her answer is yes forget about anything more than a cordial work relationship because not every attraction is mutual Concentrate on work while you re there and look elsewhere for romance after hours Dear Abby I dated this lady for three months She yearned to wait to commit to a relationship before having sex We had limited time to see each other Fridays Saturdays and Sundays We would go out and return to her place and be very passionate although we didn t have sex because of her religious beliefs She has now decided not to pursue a relationship with me because she didn t feel the flame of a connection with me After all this kissing hugging and getting close to sex at times how could she feel this way Was I played Totally Confused in Texas Dear Confused Give the lady marks for being honest if she couldn t return your ardor Depending upon what she was getting from the relationship in addition to kissing hugging and passion whether you were played is a question only you can answer Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA